


Tarasque? Tarisky.

by ___aaachi (tehbyulteh)



Series: Chaldea/Daily [3]
Category: Fate/Grand Order
Genre: Cu Chulainn Doesn't Like Feelings, Cu Chulainn is bad at feelings, F/M, Martha isn't saintly, crazy drunk riders, drunk tarasque
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-07
Updated: 2020-03-11
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:14:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23053066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tehbyulteh/pseuds/___aaachi
Summary: Cu Chulainn and Martha teams up for farming, and things begin to bloom thanks to a drunk Tarasque, making everything between the Lancer and Rider highly ta-risky.
Relationships: Cú Chulainn | Lancer/Heroic Spirit EMIYA | Archer, Cú Chulainn | Lancer/St. Martha | Rider
Series: Chaldea/Daily [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1654987
Kudos: 8





	1. what he said.

Tired after farming, Cu Chulainn, the real one, not the Caster, Proto, or Berserker one, flopped on his bed. It’s the evening so he’s pretty sure they’re done farming for the rest of the day. On good days, he’d hang around with his favorite Artoria, arguably the original one, maybe with Emiya, too, if the latter wasn’t busy making food for everybody. But today wasn’t a good day. Since the arrival of the Proto Artoria, er, Arthur, Artoria’s been trying to protect the integrity of her ikemen counterpart. So since it’s not a good day, Cu’s just stuck with Emiya, who’s surprisingly not in kitchen duty.

“You look extra tired?” Cu spent  _too many_ holy grail wars with this guy, it’s an understatement that they’re friends. They were even summoned right after each other on the same day! “Was farming really  **_that_ ** hectic today? I mean, you just beat up some hands for embers.” 

Cu rolled his eyes. “It wasn’t the farming that was hectic.” He finally sat up and decided to take off his armor, changing into something casual, like the shirt with “I ❤️ NY” that he and the other Cu’s got from 2018 New York when they got burgers for the kid Caster a few days ago. “I farmed with Martha.” 

“Martha?” Emiya looked back at him and raised a brow. The Archer is also in his casual attire, a hoodie and a pair of jeans. “I know her. She’s the only purple-haired servant that doesn’t smell trouble.” 

Cu raised a brow at his friend. “Really? I think her noble phantasm is like Jekyll’s.” He frowned. “She’s a rider with the tendencies of a berserker!” The Archer is now confused. Cu can see it on his eyes. “Alright, let me tell you what happened earlier.” 

••

_ A few hours ago,  _

“Lancer!” Nitocris, slammed the door wide open, making Cu flinch. He wasn’t expecting anything today, he checked the Lady’s schedule, and he’s not supposed to joing the party in anything. “Fionn’s nowhere to be found, can you fill in for him?” 

Cu raised a brow at the pharaoh. “What’s happening?” 

“Farming!” 

“Don’t you have proto me to go with you?” 

The queen nodded. “But I’m also not joining today, I need to look after the King who drank himself to death yesterday.“ 

Cu knows the queen’s talking about Ozymandias, since the guy and the other riders (including some drunkard servants, ie. Fionn Mac) drank till dawn yesterday. “You can start with by going to the cafeteria. Archer’s making hangover soup.” 

The queen brightened up and nodded. “I see! Thank you, Lancer!” 

Cu nodded and stood up. “Yeah, yeah, now close the door, I’m gonna change.” Nitocris waved him goodbye and left him alone to the room. He went to the formation room, and when he got there, the line-up’s pretty nice. It’s a Saturday so they’re facing archers and casters in ember farming. The support’s Ereshkigal, probably Lord Carlos’, the Master’s fiancée, then there’s Alexander, who’s probably telling Proto Cu that he’s can’t believe he ended up like Iskandar, then Kiyohime, Berserker Lancelot, who, surprisingly, understand each other, and finally, Martha. 

Purple-haired, blue-eyed Rider Martha. Now, Cu wasn’t enamored or anything, let’s be true here. She was pretty, sure, but that’s like, every other woman in Chaldea. She’s nice, sure, but that’s every other person ordained as a freaking saint in their place, and no, this does not include Jeanne Alter. 

Martha looked different today, though. A little too different. She and Cu don’t go to that much jobs together as much as she and Proto Cu does, but their classes, as some idiots from the Saber-class would say, compatible. This 'idiot' is inclusive but not limited to Nero Claudius. Probably because enemies of the same class advantages are usually grouped together. Anyway, before Fionn came to the Chaldea, Cu would always be in the back line, waiting for somebody to fall, but this time, this is different. 

**_ Martha didn't have that glimmer in her eyes.  _ **

Call the Lancer crazy, but Martha would always glimmer whenever they'd be farming. Maybe because her dragon, that big guy - Tarasque? The big dragon, is not around. Normally, the dragon would be in its tiny form, before the Rider begins praying to unleash her Noble Phantasm, then the dragon will go twice its form and go blockbuster, same old, same old. But no, that's not the case today. Cu couldn't help but wonder, so he went to the Prototype him and gave him a nudge. "Oi." 

"Oi yourself." The younger him smirked and crossed his arms. "What do you want?" 

Cu shrugged. "I need to talk to you." He glanced at the little Iskandar by his side. "Alone." 

Alexander shrugged and excused himself from the conversation, with Proto Cu's frown growing a little more. 

"Oi, what do you need, Old Man?" 

Cu rolled his eyes. "Please, Caster me is  **_waay_ ** older. We don't even have to mention the Berserker me." 

"Oi, I'm a Cu Chulainn, too. Shut your trap and tell me what you need." He growled at the older Cu and glanced at the Master, who's currently tying up her long, brown, hair. "She looks like she's getting ready any second now." 

Cu sighed. "What's up with Martha?" 

The younger him crooked his head. "Oi, aren't you tired with women at this point?" The Cus had a few memorable women in their lives. The most memorable one made them killl their own kid. 

Cu rolled his eyes for the nth time today. "Shut up, you're me, I'm you," he sighed. "And I'm not into her. Archer always said that purple-heads usually mean trouble." Cu sent Martha a look. "It's just that she doesn't have that... that  _spark."_

Younger Cu chuckled. "For real? Ain't that old man into Parvati or something?" He cleared his throat. "They went drinking, the Riders." 

"Even the saints?" Cu was also referring to Georgios, which got a nod from the Prototype. "Wow, no wonder George looked wasted when I looked for Benkei earlier today." Cu raised a brow. "And master allowed it?!" 

The Prototype shook his head. "Martha and Medusa got insane scolding earlier when the master found out. Iskandar will probably get his fair share of scolding when he's sober, too." He crossed his arms and looked at his older self intently. "Anyway, as Rider got drunk, her dragon caught the drunkeness, not her. Which was crappy. So the dragon passed out, she's here, in a state of what the little asssassin said,  **_'depression'._ ** " 

Cu raised a brow in confusion. "She's depressed because she's sober and her dragon isn't? Weird." He smirked. "I wish ya'll would get drunk when I drink." 

The younger Cu smirked. "Oh, quit it old man, I'm a fucking minor." 

"Asshole, you're at least eighteen." Cu saw their master come out of the dressing room in her Chaldea Combat Uniform, with her hair tied up into two buns. "Crap, she's here." And of course, the farming began. 

••

"It's rather nice to see you in the front lines today, True Lancer." Martha smiled at Cu as she, Cu and Cu Proto just finished attacking. They were up against three Hand of Dawn with the Archer class, so Cu and Cu Proto are doing so much hard work today, damn Fionn. The hand shot three exact shots at them, with Cu and Cu Proto resisting. The first one was aimed at Cu, the other was aimed at Cu Proto, and the last one was supposedly aimed towards Martha, but Cu caught it for her. "But I do not need anybody's protection." 

"No problem, you speak 'thank you' in such a weird manner." Sharpening Gae Bolg, Cu groaned as Cu Proto nudged him with his elbow. "What?" 

"Be nice." The master commanded the three of them to do an Arts Chain, making the three simultaneously attack. Martha stood on prayer, behind the two lancers. "Martha-san! To your right!" The Prototype threw his lance to hit the final blow on the Archer that shot Martha, but as the blow was going to hit her face, Cu came between her and the shot, taking a big blow on him, and making Martha hit him with her staff. 

And boy, did it hurt? It did. "What on fucking hell?!" 

"Language!" Her usually kind voice changed into the sharp, knife-like texture of her voice. "And what on earth?! I told you, I can protect myself!" 

"Yeah, that was going to be a critical attack on  **_you_ ** _._ You aren't going to survive that attack if that landed on you!" Cu tried to reason. 

Martha crossed her arm with anger evident in her eyes. "I could've survived." 

Cu smirked. "Yeah, whatever the fuck you say." 

"Why you-" 

Before Martha was able to say anything, Proto Cu stopped them both with his spear. "Ey, you two! Take your underlying sexual tension elsewhere." He crossed his arm. "We have a whole wave of caster hands coming out in a few seconds so  **_please_ ** on whosoever's life's name, please, take whatsoever that fight your having to the Chaldea." 

Martha glared at Cu, before standing in front of him. "I will show you, I am not a maiden of your saving." She stood in front of the two lancers and clasped her hands together. **_"O, Sad Dragon that Knew Naught of Love……"_** She was calling out her Noble Phantasm. 

_ " _ Oi, Rider! What the hell do you think you're doing?!" Cu glanced back at the master. "Master! Do something!" The master looked confident as she shook her head. "Master!" He glanced at Proto Cu. "Oi, do something!" 

_ " _ Can't. She's the boss here." 

Cu rolled his eyes. "Has she always been this whack?!" 

When Cu called Martha a whack, she rolled her eyes at him at utter annoyance. "Screw you." Then she continued calling out her noble phantasm. **_"Here. One, two! Like a star! Tarsque!"_ **

••

Back to the present time, Cu Chulainn fixed a cheese stick in his mouth. "Anyway, I wouldn't want to piss her off, nor go to farming jobs with her  _ever again_ . Her and Tarasque is Tarisky." 

Archer raised a brow at him. "Isn't ever again a little too much? I mean, your classes are compatible, you two will see each other again at some point." He took a cheese stick from Cu's bucket and asked, "And isn't proto Cu right? Like, don't you have a thing for Martha?" 

Cu deadpanned at him. "Fuck you, Archer." 

**_ Chaldea/Extra  _ **

> "I swear I heard it from Cleopatra! Who heard it from Emiya! Cu Chulainn has a thing for you!" The female riders, Medb, Martha and Marie were all hanging out in the 2nd floor pantry. It was 12 Midnight and Medb called for an emergency meeting. "The True Lancer." 
> 
> Martha raised a brow at her, the memory of her unleashing Tarasque in a drunken state just to piss Cu Chulainn off is still fresh on her mind. "That's impossible. I do not think he likes me in that sense." 
> 
> Medb growled at Martha. "Why, is my Cu any less than a guy you've been with in your time?" 
> 
> Martha glared at Medb. "I didn't marry." 
> 
> Marie stepped in, and asked, "OMG, you died a virgin?" 
> 
> Oh boy, is Martha scary? Kindly ask Medb and Marie.


	2. what she said.

**what she said.**

It was late in the evening when Martha was sipping her tea in the 2nd floor pantry. See, the master and the party she brought along with her just came back. Of course, Iskandar's kind of drunk. Nothing new, nothing new. At this point, majority of the other riders will be just happy that he's arrived at the Chaldea safely. 

"Oi." There he was, the blue Lancer. While the thoughts of getting laid (no thanks to Medb, who's giving  **_all_ ** the ideas) crossed her mind, especially with how good-looking the Lancer is, it was not an option for Martha. Particularly because she avoids relationships like this. Love, flirting, even late-night talks gives her the creps. It stresses her like no other and it freaks her out. And the mere thought of having to go through (she says this in disgust)  **_romance_ ** scares her. She finds it overwhelming. So she ignored the Lancer, focusing on her tea, instead. "Rider, we're the only two servants here. You  **know** I'm talking to you." 

Martha sighed and glared at him. "What is it now? You know that the other servants are already gossiping about us, so make it quick, Lancer." Her voice is sharp, not her usual saintly voice, as Georgios says. It's on Off, right now. To her utmost surprise, a puple bracelet was slid across the table. It was in a transparent bag, just its size. It was the rosary, but the beads were different. Engraved of them was  **_July 29._ ** Her birthday. "What is this? An offering?" 

The Spearman sighed. "Maybe. The purple reminded me of you." 

Martha raised a brow at him, but before she was even able to contest it, the Lancer was out of her sight. She glanced at the rosary bracelet and took it in her hands. 

Sin was out of the options, especially as a saint. 

And for the first time, maybe in a lot of centuries, an Irishman took the Israeli Saint's heart. Quite the opposite of what she expected. 

*** 

" This is my heart that believes." Martha chanted before she casted her skill, removing their debuffs. Merlin couldn't help but thank her. 

He beamed at her. "Martha-san! After this, can we get a drink together?" 

Martha smiled a little, quite fake, to be honest, and she raised up her wrist, with the purple bracelet dangling on it. "I'm sorry, Merlin, I'm betrothed." 

Artoria, who was behind Merlin, greeted Martha with wide eyes. 

Oh, crap, Martha forgot. 

Artoria and the Irish Lancer are friends. 

They went to New York together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A special (smut) chapter might come out for this??

**Author's Note:**

> So today, I farmed with Martha and Cu! And it came out fun so for the third (and for the fifth) day of this series, well, it might get Ta-risky.


End file.
